From Adversity to Abundance: Inspiring Stories of Mental, Physical, and Financial Transformation

0:00 Speaker 0: Buckle up, you're in for a treat with this episode. Speaker 0: So our book called From adversity to abundance, inspiring Speaker 0: stories of mental, physical, and financial transformation is out, Speaker 0: and it features eleven former podcast guests Speaker 0: from my podcast who we hand selected, handpicked to Speaker 0: be featured in the book. Speaker 0: This episode that you're about to hear is a compilation of clips Speaker 0: from those podcast episodes. Speaker 0: So these are special guests that are featured in the book Speaker 0: and you're gonna get four to six minutes of audio Speaker 0: from the podcast episode where we had these these special guests Speaker 0: on.

0:43 Speaker 0: There's a reason we handpicked these guests. Speaker 0: There's a reason we handpicked them for this episode and the book. Speaker 0: This one is is special. Speaker 0: Please take a listen. Speaker 0: I hope you love it. Speaker 0: I hope you buy the book. Speaker 0: Buy a copy for a friend. Speaker 0: Share this episode. Speaker 0: Enjoy. Speaker 1: Welcome to the from adverse today to abundance podcast. Speaker 1: Are you an entrepreneur or aspiring entrepreneur? Speaker 1: Then this show is for you Speaker 1: Each week, we bring you impactful stories of real people who Speaker 1: have overcome painful human adversity to create a life Speaker 1: abundance. Speaker 1: Life of abundance.

1:25 Speaker 1: You are not alone in your struggle. Speaker 1: Join us, and you will experience the power of true stories and Speaker 1: gain practical knowledge from founders who have turned poverty into Speaker 1: prosperity and weakness into wealth. Speaker 1: This podcast will encourage you through your health, relationship, and financial Speaker 1: challenges so you can become the hero in your quest for Speaker 1: freedom. Speaker 1: Take ownership of the life you are destined to live. Speaker 1: Turn your adversity into abundance. Speaker 2: For me, it was like, oh, wow. Speaker 2: You know, I was just grateful that. Speaker 2: I was still there.

2:05 Speaker 2: Right? Speaker 2: So, Speaker 2: if it was shocked, and then it was really Speaker 2: I felt like it was it was a set up. Speaker 2: A lot of step of things were going through my mind. Speaker 2: So I was able to, Speaker 2: remove myself from that element for a long period of time, and Speaker 2: I went through a healing process. Speaker 2: Right? Speaker 2: I went through trust issues. Speaker 2: I went through a whole bunch of stuff. Speaker 2: And it really took, I would say, probably about two years for Speaker 2: me really to understand what happened and how did it help me. Speaker 2: Right? Speaker 2: Because it turned me into a beast, really, with the real estate, because now Speaker 2: that that next six months at the I got shot, I was working from Speaker 2: home, September nine eleven happened that same year.

2:49 Speaker 2: That's September. Speaker 2: I got shot of March, that's September nine eleven. Speaker 2: There was all these different things that happened that just made me stronger, Speaker 2: made me more focused, made me more grateful. Speaker 2: You know, I would walk around and say, this person is probably not even Speaker 2: great for that date in Tati's shoes. Speaker 2: They can bend over Tati's shoes. Speaker 2: It has staples in my stomach. Speaker 2: So for this person, it's not even great for that they get to use Speaker 2: the bathroom. Speaker 2: This small stuff it really made me become grateful for the little things Speaker 2: and appreciate everything. Speaker 2: And I was just like, wow. Speaker 2: I I never really appreciate this appreciated this smaller thing so Speaker 2: much. Speaker 3: Mhmm. Speaker 3: It's Speaker 2: really put the things into perspective. Speaker 2: So that's when I became grateful for the situation and started to use Speaker 2: that.

3:32 Speaker 2: You know, use that energy to kinda drive me through it. Speaker 3: Mhmm. Speaker 2: Same thing. Speaker 2: Yeah. Speaker 2: Two thousand eight came in. Speaker 0: I was spending two thousand Speaker 2: and nine money. Speaker 2: Well, it was two million dollars of my own money and basically had to Speaker 2: press the reset button because after that, then I got divorced and you know, Speaker 2: that was the best thing that happened to me as well because again, Speaker 2: the circle people that I was around was around me for the things that Speaker 2: I had, not because of who I was. Speaker 2: So that was a materialistic phase of my life. Speaker 2: That I went through coming from where I was at, didn't have anything in Speaker 2: getting into real estate, getting everything, feeling like god, you know, Speaker 2: being materialistic, Speaker 2: having the wrong people around you.

4:16 Speaker 2: Right? Speaker 3: Mhmm. Speaker 2: Where if you're the smartest one in the room, then you know, that's the Speaker 2: problem. Speaker 2: So that happened where that kinda shifted where I was able Speaker 2: to, you know, again, get out of that circle I was Speaker 2: in. Speaker 3: Mhmm. Speaker 2: And then go deeper within myself. Speaker 2: So if from that part, you lose the money, get in divorce, you know, Speaker 2: getting custody of my boys, trying to get rid of whatever real estate I Speaker 2: had to survive and everything else, growing within myself, Speaker 2: that helped me a great deal because I started getting into meditation, I started Speaker 2: getting into a deli ritual and doing things to build up myself. Speaker 2: Right? Speaker 2: And that really was a game changer for me also.

4:59 Speaker 4: So those Speaker 2: two Speaker 2: situations really built the foundation for for who I am today. Speaker 2: So another situation I was grateful, even though I lost, you know, a bunch Speaker 2: of money, Speaker 2: really, it was really, Speaker 2: showing me that it was more than the money because I was a slave Speaker 2: of money. Speaker 2: I was chasing him. Speaker 3: Mhmm. Speaker 3: Mhmm. Speaker 0: That's I wasn't when Speaker 2: my former wife would say, Hey, let's push the stroller and walk head to Speaker 2: the park. Speaker 2: I'm not doing that. Speaker 2: That's your job. Speaker 2: I gotta go go with these clothes and I to do this and do Speaker 2: that. Speaker 2: I'm getting this money. Speaker 2: I'm paying the bills. Speaker 2: You do that. Speaker 2: When the reality is, you know, as we know now, families first, Speaker 2: Right? Speaker 2: The kids grow really fast, and you only have eighteen sounds with them.

5:42 Speaker 2: So every moment you get with them from the time they're born to know, Speaker 2: they become teenagers and start hanging with their friends. Speaker 2: You wanna, yeah, really, value those moments. Speaker 5: Really, what I've come to learn is that you know, obesity is, is a Speaker 5: symptom of these deeper underlying emotional sorts of problems, right? Speaker 5: And like it doesn't just happen in a vacuum the inside reflects Speaker 5: the outside and the outside reflects the inside. Speaker 5: Right? Speaker 5: So Mhmm. Speaker 0: That's really good. Speaker 5: It's it's really hard for me to just kinda pinpoint one or two specific Speaker 5: things that happened, right? Speaker 5: You know, but I was just, I was in a chronically negative state is Speaker 5: how I would describe it. Speaker 5: But what was really challenging is is if you're in a chronically negative state, Speaker 5: you don't necessarily realize you're in a chronically negative state, you know, much in Speaker 5: the way the the the fish doesn't see the, you know, you know, water Speaker 5: that it's in, right?

6:30 Speaker 5: If this is just how you experience life, Speaker 3: you Speaker 5: don't necessarily realize that, you know, this is different. Speaker 5: You know, if you would have told me, you know, if you would have Speaker 5: asked me what anxiety was, in in my mid twenties, I wouldn't have been Speaker 5: able to tell you, let alone identify and say, oh, I'm I have chronic Speaker 5: anxiety problems, right? Speaker 5: Because that was just That was just life as I knew it. Speaker 0: That was your default. Speaker 0: Right? Speaker 3: Yeah. Speaker 5: And and that was just how I experienced life, you know. Speaker 5: And and I really never would have thought that a life that I'm living Speaker 5: now, you know, with the sort of energy and the emotion that I feel Speaker 5: on a day to day basis, I didn't even realize that something like that Speaker 5: was possible for me But, you know, there there was always a part of Speaker 5: me for some reason that that was optimistic, right?

7:11 Speaker 5: You know, and and I would say I was in a chronically negative state, Speaker 5: but I always had some optimism about me, and I always kind Speaker 5: of knew that it would, it would work out. Speaker 5: You know, and I just, I stuck with it, you know, as best as Speaker 5: I could. Speaker 5: You know, there were certainly lots of adversity along the way, Speaker 5: right? Speaker 5: I lost the same seventy five pounds three times, right? Speaker 5: So you know, I did it once in high school, and then I ended Speaker 5: up gaining all the weight back again, you know, and it's it's really demoralizing Speaker 5: to to put in all that work and put in all that effort and Speaker 5: and reach a goal, right? Speaker 5: And then just have it just kinda slip through your fingers and vanish, you Speaker 5: know, and it's, it's, you feel a lot shame and embarrassment when that happens, Speaker 5: you know, because you just you're failing so publicly.

7:54 Speaker 5: People are are seeing you and and seeing what you're going through. Speaker 5: Right? Speaker 0: So, you know, you know, Speaker 5: these sorts of things are are are are tough to overcome and, you know, Speaker 5: it's this is why it it took me so long to to do Speaker 6: it. Speaker 5: But, you know, part of me just just never gave up and, you know, Speaker 5: always knew that there was a way out. Speaker 5: I just needed to to to keep trying to do better every day, you Speaker 5: know, putting one foot in front of the other, educate myself more, Speaker 5: you know, just just try to do more with with what energy I had Speaker 5: at the time. Speaker 5: And and, you know, that's This is how I got to the place where Speaker 5: I am now. Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 0: No. Speaker 0: It's really good. Speaker 0: I mean, it just yeah. Speaker 0: It sounds like you you just got, like, probably a lot of people can Speaker 0: identify with you've got on into a mental pattern of this is my default.

8:36 Speaker 0: This is who I am. Speaker 0: This is my identity. Speaker 0: And for those who, you know, are listening or you know, are gonna watch Speaker 0: this on YouTube, even go back and look at at at Matt's, you know, Speaker 0: like your Twitter or Instagram. Speaker 0: I mean, I've seen it before and after, and it's It's like HDTV pics, Speaker 0: you know, people love that in real estate. Speaker 0: It's like the the before and after pictures are amazing, but they're so Speaker 0: much work that went into that that, you know, that's easy to gloss over. Speaker 0: So I I, I just have a ton of respect for your transformation Speaker 0: and and and this time keeping it off. Speaker 0: I mean, it's it's really incredible. Speaker 0: So okay. Speaker 0: So you lost the weight a couple times, regained it a couple times, and Speaker 0: then and then have kept it off for coming up on five years, you Speaker 0: said, I believe.

9:24 Speaker 0: What's been the difference this time? Speaker 5: So what I realized was I needed to make a plan, right, Speaker 5: because I I I lost weight again in my mid twenties And I Speaker 5: really educated myself a lot about fitness and nutrition, right? Speaker 5: And I taught myself all this stuff, and I did it in a really Speaker 5: intelligent way. Speaker 5: And then I, I kind of realized I thought then at least that, okay, Speaker 5: my problems are solved, right? Speaker 5: I have all this knowledge now. Speaker 5: And, you know, I didn't have this knowledge before, but now I know how Speaker 5: to eat. Speaker 5: I know what protein, fat, and carbohydrates are, all all this stuff. Speaker 5: And I'm like, great. Speaker 5: I did it My problem is solved. Speaker 5: Well, knowledge is useless if you don't apply it. Speaker 5: Right? Speaker 5: So I I had the knowledge, but I stopped applying it, you know, and Speaker 5: and I dealt with some some adversity, right, to keep in the theme of Speaker 5: the show, had some some some more emotional trauma suffered an injury, Speaker 5: you know, and and next thing, you know, I'm back being fat again.

10:18 Speaker 5: And, you know, it took me eight years to kind of get around to Speaker 5: doing it again because, you know, it's, it's an overwhelming proposition. Speaker 5: You know, you know, trying to lose a large amount of fat as I'm Speaker 5: sure many people can can relate to. Speaker 6: There I was, Speaker 6: you know, doing my my paying my bills and then after finishing Speaker 6: that long shift at the hospital. Speaker 6: And and I just got I got I got home, and I realized that Speaker 6: Wow. Speaker 6: The the the neighbors paying mortgage. Speaker 6: They're paying my mortgage. Speaker 6: That was a nice feeling to have, you know. Speaker 6: But then I was like, and it was I was single then, and I Speaker 6: was like, well, someday I won't be able to go to work, you know, Speaker 6: age or anything could happen.

11:00 Speaker 6: I mean, I was making good hospital, and I was working really long Speaker 6: hours, but I realized that if I don't go to work, I wasn't gonna Speaker 6: be making any money. Speaker 6: That that was, I needed to be present to make that money. Speaker 6: Right? Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 6: And and I realized that someday I might not for whatever reason be Speaker 6: able to And I saw the possibility of having the cash flow from Speaker 6: investments, like putting the money to work, and then the money was making more Speaker 6: money. Speaker 6: So I figured If I do more of this, then I can fix Speaker 6: it. Speaker 6: Right? Speaker 6: And so that that really was how I got started thinking about Speaker 6: it, and and growing it up in Mexico, the duplex Speaker 6: team wasn't a thing.

11:42 Speaker 6: You know, the we don't have duplex we either have, Speaker 6: a house that is occupied by generations for stories, Speaker 6: for kids, you know, Speaker 6: but there's really no kind of investment. Speaker 6: So I was lucky, that my my, Speaker 6: agent, for me, because I told him I'm not looking for something big. Speaker 6: I want a house for me, something just me. Speaker 6: And some something else that I can, you know, have a roommate. Speaker 6: And use the concept of the duplex duplex. Speaker 6: So having that mentality, I thought, well, if I buy more duplexes, Speaker 6: then I can then, you know, reduce my hours or not have gonna work. Speaker 6: And and by looking into it.

12:23 Speaker 6: And when I deployed, I actually spent a lot of time learning Speaker 6: on how how does that real estate can actually build Speaker 6: your wealth and and how, you can scale it. Speaker 6: And so that's when I learned about syndications and how you can do Speaker 6: persons. Speaker 0: Now where where did you deploy? Speaker 6: I was in, Jabberty Africa. Speaker 0: Okay. Speaker 0: Gotcha. Speaker 0: I wasn't expecting that answer. Speaker 0: Okay. Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 0: I mean, and people say, how did you have time to do that when Speaker 0: you were deployed? Speaker 0: And you know, I was deployed to a rack and it's even Speaker 0: though you're busy a lot, you still have downtime, and you don't have Speaker 0: you know, twenty four seven, you're not busy with work.

13:06 Speaker 0: So what are you gonna do with that downtime? Speaker 0: And Speaker 0: I actually started started a second degree because it was like, alright. Speaker 0: I don't know. Speaker 0: What what else would why not? Speaker 0: And that was before remote learning was so popular. Speaker 0: But, yeah, but two thousand six, you said, is when you got Speaker 0: started, right, in real estate? Speaker 7: Yes. Speaker 0: So, I mean, that's you know, the internet was obviously Speaker 0: around, but I don't think bigger pockets was a thing. Speaker 0: And, you know, you didn't have all these books and all these resources. Speaker 0: So That's that's impressive. Speaker 0: You know, because it was until much later that we really went full Speaker 0: on with, you know, because there's podcasts and, and things staring Speaker 0: you in the face with, how to learn and how to how to grow Speaker 0: your network.

13:54 Speaker 0: So Speaker 0: sounds like you did it more locally through, oh, you know, through your agent Speaker 0: and then started to scale from there. Speaker 0: Is that fair to say? Speaker 6: Yes. Speaker 6: Yes. Speaker 6: When I came back, I I have saved, a lot of money from, Speaker 6: you know, my my my income was non flexible. Speaker 6: And like you said, when you're deployed, they provide all your meals, everything. Speaker 6: There's no no where you can spend the money. Speaker 6: And, pull of that when I came back, I was looking for more duplexes. Speaker 6: And then that, you know, at four plex came along, and I'm like, wait, Speaker 6: My goal was to buy one one home a year, one house a year. Speaker 6: And, and then I was like, wow, I can buy four.

14:35 Speaker 4: You know, a family relationship with, a very strong emotional relationship with. Speaker 4: The things that weren't resolved weren't resolved, not by my choice. Speaker 4: They were Speaker 3: Mhmm. Speaker 4: Because she wasn't able to deal with those and in her, Speaker 4: you know, her situation and and that's that's unfortunate. Speaker 4: You know, to have somebody that that goes through that. Speaker 4: But for me, you know, having your friend, I don't think I've ever I'll Speaker 4: ever fully recover from that. Speaker 4: I think, and, you know, it definitely inexorably changed me because Speaker 4: you never wanna feel that pain again. Speaker 4: Mhmm. Speaker 3: Sometimes Speaker 4: I was pulled away from you. Speaker 4: So you know, it it's hard to really develop deep relationships after Speaker 4: you've been hurt so deeply. Speaker 4: And people look, if you're listening, you know, people, whether you're in a relationship Speaker 4: or some you break up with somebody or you're divorced or, you know, somebody Speaker 4: dies, you know, or we wanna protect ourselves.

15:24 Speaker 4: Right? Speaker 3: Mhmm. Speaker 4: So it's, you know, I think I'm I'm I'm pretty good at having Speaker 4: relationships with doing that, but at the same time, you know, it's it's painful. Speaker 4: And it's also hard when you experience that depth of a relationship Speaker 4: with somebody, and it's really not possible to experience that again. Speaker 4: What I mean is we were we were friends through Speaker 4: high school. Speaker 8: Mhmm. Speaker 4: And during very formative parts of our lives, and I won't ever be able Speaker 4: to have that you know, that bond with somebody again. Speaker 4: Yeah. Speaker 4: But the flip side is I'm very grateful for the time I got to Speaker 4: spend. Speaker 3: Mhmm. Speaker 4: You know, with with all those people in my life. Speaker 0: Now I appreciate you getting vulnerable there. Speaker 0: I mean, it's not easy to talk about and relive. Speaker 0: And, but so, yeah, with with your friend, Chris, it's like, Speaker 0: yeah, not only Speaker 0: did he pass, but you you're not like you said, you're not gonna Speaker 0: be able to replicate or duplicate that.

16:16 Speaker 0: And so there's almost like a double, Speaker 0: you know, I don't know. Speaker 0: It's a double hardship there. Speaker 0: So that's that's really, really tough Speaker 0: And again, I don't we're glossing over this. Speaker 0: Like, it's no big deal, but it's I appreciate that. Speaker 0: So then how did you, you started to get into it a little bit? Speaker 0: What what did your how did you change your mindset, or how did you Speaker 0: approach kind of the your future from there. Speaker 4: Yeah. Speaker 4: So this is where this is where you look at kind of the, there's Speaker 4: there's two way. Speaker 4: I'm gonna say the first way I'm gonna say it. Speaker 4: It it might it might sound callous, but then I'll explain. Speaker 4: So this is where, like, the silver lining comes in. Speaker 4: And what I mean is if you ever lost somebody, I'm sure the last Speaker 4: thing that person wants is for you to go through the rest of your Speaker 4: life and and and really put the brakes on anything or live less Speaker 4: of a life because you're you're burdened by that or not having that person Speaker 4: in in your life.

17:10 Speaker 4: Anybody that loves you wants you to go and experience life to the fullest. Speaker 4: And a lot of my friends, Sam lucky. Speaker 4: And I don't have to go into details, but I've had I've had some Speaker 4: good fortune in my life. Speaker 4: Just look things that have happened, things that are kinda unusual. Speaker 4: And I say that's because I have a lot of people watching out for Speaker 4: me because they want me they're looking down. Speaker 4: They want me to be successful. Speaker 4: And I believe that. Speaker 4: I feel like I have a positive energy, but at the same time, I Speaker 4: feel like it's my duty to do all these things. Speaker 4: It's my duty to to live like this. Speaker 4: So, you know, the the I said, you know, I said silver Speaker 4: lining. Speaker 4: But when you lose somebody and you realize that Speaker 4: life is finite, especially as a young person.

17:53 Speaker 4: So, Jamie, I crossed forty one years old, and I achieved all these things Speaker 4: in my life. Speaker 4: And I realized my father was forty one when he died. Speaker 4: And I know that in the back of my head, I had this this Speaker 4: feeling of fatality that, you know, I had there was Speaker 4: things I had to get done. Speaker 4: So when you know that, the time value of Speaker 4: money has I'm sorry. Speaker 4: The, the value of time Speaker 9: Right. Speaker 4: Has has time on the bottom of the equation. Speaker 4: I'm an engineer by training. Speaker 4: Yeah. Speaker 4: Think of it that way. Speaker 4: When you're young, you think you're gonna live forever. Speaker 4: You're gonna live forever in that number on the bottom's infinity, the value Speaker 4: zero Right?

18:34 Speaker 0: Right. Speaker 0: Sure. Speaker 4: As soon as you put a value or as yes. Speaker 4: As soon as you put an actual value on that time, whether you're gonna Speaker 4: live ten days or ten thousand days, or, you know, fifty thousand days, Speaker 4: whatever that number is, the value of your time goes up exponentially. Speaker 0: Sure. Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 4: And that's what I think happens subconsciously in my mind. Speaker 4: And as soon as really once, you know, when I was an adult and Speaker 4: Chris passed away, I thought Hang on a second. Speaker 4: I got I got stuff to do. Speaker 4: Like, I got stuff to do. Speaker 4: I'm a serious person. Speaker 4: I'm gonna get things done. Speaker 4: And, you know, some people are like, why do you work so hard? Speaker 4: My neighbor was like, if you don't have to work anymore, why do you Speaker 4: still work? Speaker 4: Yeah. Speaker 4: Like, one, I enjoy it.

19:16 Speaker 4: And it energizes me. Speaker 4: Yeah. Speaker 4: And two, it's my duty. Speaker 4: I have an impact that I'm here to make on this planet. Speaker 7: First and foremost, yes, especially my dad. Speaker 7: Huge warrior. Speaker 7: The sky was always falling. Speaker 7: The world was always ending, and the market was always crashing. Speaker 7: Everything was going wrong all the time. Speaker 7: And that has been extremely difficult to get out of that sort of thinking. Speaker 7: I catch myself and I'll say, wait, no, that's your dad. Speaker 7: That's not you. Speaker 7: That's ridiculous. Speaker 7: So I I still struggle with that to this day. Speaker 7: And we can talk about some of the things that have gone wrong in Speaker 7: business up to this point. Speaker 7: The bit you're gonna get kicks in the teeth. Speaker 7: I'll I'll tell you that. Speaker 7: And the second point, what you just said is is so true because it's Speaker 7: it's not that money itself money itself is just a concept because bartering is Speaker 7: difficult.

19:59 Speaker 7: But it enables all of the things that matter in life. Speaker 7: So whether it be, you know, I live out here with my brother. Speaker 7: I've seen my family. Speaker 7: I'll see my parents six or seven times this year, he'll see them once. Speaker 7: Why? Speaker 7: Cause I have money. Speaker 7: It doesn't it doesn't really matter. Speaker 7: I can trade that for things that matter. Speaker 7: I can go travel. Speaker 7: Whatever I want. Speaker 7: So money is just a tool to trade for the things that actually matter. Speaker 7: So when I hear people say, oh, what's more in, you know, this and Speaker 7: that and this are more important than money? Speaker 7: Well, somewhat misleading because money is the thing that enables all the things that Speaker 7: matter. Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 0: I love that. Speaker 0: I mean, and it's like, you know, I equate money to it's it's like Speaker 0: the internet. Speaker 0: It's like, is it inherently good or bad? Speaker 0: No. Speaker 0: But it's ex extremely powerful.

20:40 Speaker 0: It can be very powerful. Speaker 0: And it is. Speaker 0: It's just a tool, and it's how you wanna use it. Speaker 0: And I think to take the approach of money doesn't matter. Speaker 0: Or or becoming a slave, you know, to to that fear Speaker 0: surrounding money that you're talking about is really not not the the right Speaker 0: way to go. Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 0: You know, it's it's easy for me to sit here and judge your parents Speaker 0: or my parents, obviously. Speaker 0: But Speaker 0: I think too many people take that kind of cop out where it's like, Speaker 0: no. Speaker 0: I mean, I, you know, I shouldn't money isn't isn't, something to to Speaker 0: strive for. Speaker 0: And so, therefore, I'm just gonna, Speaker 3: you Speaker 0: know, go the easy route and and not, not try to acquire more money. Speaker 0: But what it can do is enable things like you just talk about enable Speaker 0: freedom, really, is what enable time freedom and and location Speaker 0: freedom, and, like you were, like you were talking about.

21:29 Speaker 0: So, Speaker 7: Yeah. Speaker 7: Yeah. Speaker 7: When someone says money doesn't matter, that's very interesting. Speaker 7: My first question would be, well, what does your week look like? Speaker 7: When they tell me, oh, they get up, they go to work, I would, Speaker 7: you know, respond most in most cases, it sounds like money dictates everything you Speaker 7: do all day every day. Speaker 7: So that's interesting because Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 7: You typically If you don't have it, then money controls your life. Speaker 7: If you do have it, then you control your life. Speaker 0: Sure. Speaker 4: Yeah. Speaker 3: No. Speaker 0: That's really good. Speaker 0: So What other obstacles or kind of themes that Speaker 0: were were difficult for you exist existed? Speaker 0: In other words, anything not money related, that you grew up with that was Speaker 0: kind of challenging from a either human or a business, perspective.

22:11 Speaker 7: I I would say the biggest thing that pertains to this conversation, Speaker 7: that I would wanna get into would probably be just that intense fear based Speaker 7: scarcity mindset. Speaker 7: Right? Speaker 7: Just the pen so they never figured out how to make money. Speaker 7: So they're just super conservative with spending money and then never got to see Speaker 7: their, you know, their parents, my grandparents, their siblings. Speaker 7: I'm talking about my parents. Speaker 7: That's probably the biggest one that applies to this conversation. Speaker 7: Because it's so hard, you know, I, in hindsight, I have cut myself so Speaker 7: short by having been stingy about marketing dollars Right? Speaker 7: I have hiring people. Speaker 7: Just, I have made my own life so much harder because of this. Speaker 7: So Yeah.

22:52 Speaker 7: That's been a huge one for me, and it still is to this day. Speaker 7: I I catch myself thinking very irrationally or worrying about things that Speaker 7: I shouldn't worry about at all. Speaker 7: You know? Speaker 7: So that's probably the biggest one. Speaker 7: And for me, self awareness has helped the most. Speaker 7: Right? Speaker 7: Trying to catch myself and say, hey, that's It's not you that's just, you Speaker 7: know, twenty years of hearing your dad. Speaker 7: Right? Speaker 7: Sure. Speaker 7: That has helped me a lot there. Speaker 0: Okay. Speaker 0: So take us from, say twenty through twenty six, just kinda bring us Speaker 0: up to speed. Speaker 3: Sure. Speaker 3: How Speaker 0: did you how did you get out of that scarcity mindset, you know, or Speaker 0: or attempt to anyway? Speaker 0: And then get to where you are today. Speaker 0: What were some some tools or tactics that that got you where you are? Speaker 7: Yeah. Speaker 7: Probably the two biggest things are just proceeding taking action in Speaker 7: spite of being afraid and, the people you get around, I'd say Speaker 7: are the two biggest.

23:40 Speaker 7: So I bought that duplex in college and then moved out to Colorado, bought Speaker 7: another house hack out here, and it was around that time that I realized, Speaker 7: hey, the the whole low and no money down thing sounds really great. Speaker 7: It sells a lot of courses and books and podcasts, but at the end Speaker 7: of the day, this is a cash intensive venture. Speaker 7: You're gonna have things go wrong. Speaker 7: If you don't have cash or or someone partnered with you who does, you're Speaker 7: gonna get yourself hurt. Speaker 7: You're probably not gonna last very long. Speaker 7: So I started going to the real estate group that I now host out Speaker 7: here. Speaker 7: And I met a guy who had been investing in land, building houses, Speaker 7: apartments, commercial strip centers, etcetera, for the last forty years. Speaker 7: So I would drive an hour south every weekend and go work with him, Speaker 7: work for him, and just learn.

24:22 Speaker 7: And that was how land and development came into the picture originally. Speaker 7: You can really consolidating a lot of information here. Speaker 7: But through that, I eventually just started doing it myself. Speaker 7: And that's where front range land came about, and that has allowed me to Speaker 7: buy more properties. Speaker 7: So again, I, I just turned twenty six now and, and that's, Speaker 7: what the business is at this point. Speaker 7: Front range land feeding the investing. Speaker 7: And I wanna tell a story about that guy. Speaker 7: I I just mentioned. Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 0: Go for it. Speaker 9: I don't think I know of anyone, you know, but I'll let you know Speaker 9: if I I can think of anybody. Speaker 9: And she said, what about would you be interested? Speaker 9: And I said, well, but, Glenn, I don't have a degree, and I don't Speaker 9: have any sports experience.

25:03 Speaker 9: And she said, well, Beth, do you have a resume? Speaker 9: And I said, no. Speaker 9: And so she said, come over Sunday. Speaker 9: So I did. Speaker 9: And we cobbled together what was probably the worst history, Speaker 9: worst resume of all time. Speaker 9: But it got me this job, which You know, it doesn't sound like Speaker 9: a lot now, but it in two thousand four, for me, it paid me Speaker 9: fifty thousand dollars a year and really good benefits plus, Speaker 9: generous commission structure. Speaker 0: Nice. Speaker 9: Yes. Speaker 9: It is. Speaker 9: So what Speaker 0: so what had changed? Speaker 0: I'm curious, like, why did she be I know her position changed. Speaker 0: I think Speaker 9: she was desperate. Speaker 3: Okay. Speaker 3: Okay. Speaker 0: She must have been right.

25:44 Speaker 9: I think yeah. Speaker 9: I do. Speaker 9: So the first week at that job, I Speaker 9: was just like, on cloud nine. Speaker 9: I was like, woah. Speaker 9: I'm in the money now. Speaker 9: You know? Speaker 0: Right. Speaker 3: Well, Speaker 9: it's money now. Speaker 9: But, Right. Speaker 9: Right. Speaker 0: It's all relative. Speaker 0: Right? Speaker 9: It's all relative. Speaker 7: Because now Speaker 0: you're making fifty two thousand, you said? Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 9: I know. Speaker 9: I'm I'm the oldest of high water. Speaker 0: But no. Speaker 0: But, seriously, so you were making your you were for a month, Speaker 0: you worked the receptionist job. Speaker 0: Right? Speaker 9: And I was at ten dollars an hour. Speaker 0: Ten dollars an hour. Speaker 0: Okay. Speaker 9: Thirty seven point five hours a week. Speaker 0: To get the health insurance?

26:26 Speaker 0: Right? Speaker 6: Yep. Speaker 0: Got it. Speaker 0: And then you did that for a month or two. Speaker 9: I did. Speaker 9: For exactly one month. Speaker 0: Okay. Speaker 0: And then so, I mean, a fifty thousand dollar I mean, that is a Speaker 0: big that is a huge jump. Speaker 9: Well, and then the commission structure was also very good. Speaker 9: So, you know, I have the potential of earning, you know, six figures Speaker 9: immediately, really, or pretty pretty immediately. Speaker 0: Mhmm. Speaker 9: But it was funny because after the first week, I had this, Speaker 9: this inspiration that, you know, oh my god. Speaker 9: They hired a a fake, and they're gonna figure it out. Speaker 10: Right. Speaker 9: And so I went to Barnes and Noble, and I bought Speaker 9: all the books on sales I could find.

27:07 Speaker 9: And, you know, I've read about a chapter of each one. Speaker 9: And then I started flowing door to door because it was all commercial energy. Speaker 9: And I knew the area I lived in very well. Speaker 9: So I I just started on a corner at an inter went door to Speaker 9: door to businesses because it was fear, Jamie. Speaker 9: It was absolute fear driving me. Speaker 9: But Speaker 0: They were gonna find find you out that you didn't know They were Speaker 9: gonna find me out. Speaker 9: Yeah. Speaker 9: We have hired a fraud. Speaker 0: Well, I've heard a lot of successful salespeople and successful entrepreneurs, Speaker 0: business people in general who have started out with door to door Speaker 0: sales, whether residential, commercial. Speaker 0: Because at the end of the day, books are fine.

27:47 Speaker 0: They're great. Speaker 0: And honestly, podcasts are great, but you're not gonna learn how to sell Speaker 0: insurance through a podcast or how to sell, you know, commercial Speaker 0: energy through a book you're gonna learn it Speaker 9: by doing it. Speaker 9: So Yeah. Speaker 9: That's exactly right. Speaker 0: Okay. Speaker 9: Well, it was you know, it's one of those things when you put something Speaker 9: out there, you know, you put this energy out there and and you have Speaker 9: this this, drive. Speaker 9: It doesn't always come back to you in exactly the way you think it Speaker 9: will, but it does come back to you. Speaker 9: I know it sounds kind of. Speaker 9: Yeah. Speaker 9: Woo, but, Speaker 9: six weeks after my start date.

28:28 Speaker 9: I landed a big account that came to me from it wasn't one of Speaker 9: the doors I knocked on, although I did get business that way. Speaker 9: It was just I talked I had talked to one of the parents Speaker 9: at my daughter's gymnastics facility. Speaker 9: And she said, oh, I work for this company. Speaker 9: I'll get you in. Speaker 9: Maybe they'd be interested. Speaker 9: Well, she did, and they did, and I landed the account. Speaker 9: And so, mid October, I was the top salesperson Speaker 9: in the state of Texas, and I remained in that position. Speaker 9: Until I left. Speaker 9: I was, I ended up being hired away. Speaker 9: And, which was fortunate because unbeknownst to me at Speaker 9: the time, the hurricane Katrina had really wiped them out.

29:12 Speaker 9: So we were they were closing their doors. Speaker 9: So I I sort of avoided that pitfall. Speaker 9: Got hired away. Speaker 9: And then during at that time, my dad came to me because he realized Speaker 9: there was somebody in the family who who had the ability to sell Speaker 9: and said, I really need you. Speaker 9: That that was a real fortunate Happenstance because Speaker 9: back in the previous October, this was in March. Speaker 9: Previous October, It turned out my ex husband had, Speaker 9: dysplasia in his throat. Speaker 9: And my current husband, who we were dating at the time, he had Speaker 9: They found cancer in his finger, and it was a sarcoma.

29:53 Speaker 9: It was very aggressive. Speaker 9: And my dad had prostate cancer. Speaker 0: Wow. Speaker 0: This is all at the same time. Speaker 0: Right? Speaker 9: This was October of two thousand five. Speaker 9: My ex husband was he had a very good prognosis. Speaker 9: My current husband, his was dire. Speaker 9: I mean, this it was very rare and, you know, There's like a zero Speaker 9: percent chance of survival. Speaker 9: It was very aggressive. Speaker 9: He's still alive, by the way. Speaker 9: He did survive. Speaker 0: That's I mean, I'm very thankful for that. Speaker 0: It it's not it's interesting. Speaker 0: I mean, you would think when you hear, oh, finger. Speaker 0: That's no big deal. Speaker 0: And then throw it sounds more, you know, threatening. Speaker 9: But his was just pre cancer.

30:33 Speaker 9: It was like a little key sized deal, and, they removed it and he Speaker 9: was supposed to be fine. Speaker 9: But Speaker 9: He wasn't, and he didn't get better. Speaker 9: And then around the same time my dad hired me away, he Speaker 9: was, on disability and he could they were doing radiation, Speaker 9: and he could only speak six whispered sentences Speaker 9: a day, and he had had his own business. Speaker 9: So he had, You know, it was just we had to rescind the Speaker 9: child support agreement, do all these things. Speaker 9: And I didn't I needed to be at home. Speaker 9: That that was really the bottom line. Speaker 9: So I ended up taking a pay cut so that I could go work Speaker 9: for the family business, but be at home Speaker 3: all Speaker 9: the time, you know, because I still had young kids.

31:16 Speaker 0: Mhmm. Speaker 11: You, man. Speaker 11: The, this is one of the things that I did. Speaker 11: Anybody anybody that's listening to this, you can do this. Speaker 11: It this isn't like magic or anything. Speaker 11: Like, Up until this point. Speaker 11: I and this is something that I did myself. Speaker 11: Up until this point, when I thought about who am I, I just thought Speaker 11: of all my failures and losses and things that I fucked up that I Speaker 11: lied to and people that I hurt. Speaker 11: And that's what I used to define who I am, the kind of person Speaker 11: I am. Speaker 3: Mhmm. Speaker 11: And then I decided I'm gonna, you know, sounds corny, but I'm gonna flip Speaker 11: the script. Speaker 11: Right? Speaker 11: I'm gonna look at this thing, and I'm gonna sit down, and I'm gonna Speaker 11: write down all the good things that I've ever done that I can think Speaker 11: of. Speaker 11: And it could be a long list. Speaker 11: It's gonna be a short list. Speaker 0: But that's what you're gonna focus on.

31:57 Speaker 0: Right. Speaker 0: Right. Speaker 3: And Speaker 11: that's what I did. Speaker 11: And the first thing on the list was I quit smoking cigarettes. Speaker 0: That was the first one. Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 0: I mean, and this is when I say this, it's gonna it's gonna Speaker 0: sound so much less dramatic, you know, but I had a similar shift Speaker 0: kind of, you know, just I was going to work every day. Speaker 0: Had the nine to five job with a long commute, and and that I Speaker 0: didn't have a terrible life. Speaker 0: I'm not saying that. Speaker 0: Right? Speaker 0: But Speaker 0: I would I just kind of fell into the the trap of kind of Speaker 0: groundhog day and that's this is what life is kinda thing. Speaker 0: And then I I, you know, realized I started pointing to my strengths and Speaker 0: the people in my life that, you know, that could help me and kind Speaker 0: of just my focus changed. Speaker 0: And so it became more about teamwork and growth and strengths Speaker 0: and looking at the positive.

32:42 Speaker 0: And that for me was a critical piece. Speaker 0: This was back in you know, twenty thirteen, twenty fourteen, just Speaker 0: to start really kind of ratcheting up the real estate and note investing and Speaker 0: things like that. Speaker 0: But Again, not not as dramatic of a story, but but Speaker 0: it was really important because I could have easily just gotten caught in you Speaker 0: know, ho, what was me? Speaker 0: This is this is my life and and that kind of thing. Speaker 0: So the the mindset piece is critical. Speaker 11: Yeah. Speaker 11: I don't get people don't I mean, like, people don't have to apologize like, Speaker 11: well, you know, it wasn't that bad. Speaker 11: Like, it's this isn't a competition. Speaker 11: This isn't Speaker 0: a waste of, Speaker 11: you know, it's like, it's I regret all Speaker 11: of that stuff. Speaker 0: But Sure. Speaker 3: If Speaker 11: it wasn't for that, I might not be here today.

33:24 Speaker 11: And and I've I've tilted the scales where I think I've done more good Speaker 11: than bad now. Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 11: And, but I just there's some things I wanna mention that that to me Speaker 11: are are important please. Speaker 11: Help people to heal is, you know, like, maybe Speaker 11: twelve years ago or so, I looked up the cop that arrested me. Speaker 11: I looked them up on Facebook, and I found them. Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 11: And I sent them a message and said, hey, did you used to work Speaker 11: in Eastern District, Baltimore City Police department. Speaker 11: And he didn't respond. Speaker 11: And he he's probably like, you know, uh-oh. Speaker 11: And, And then I, you know, sent another message a couple weeks later, Speaker 11: and I said, listen.

34:05 Speaker 11: You arrested me September eighth nineteen eighty nine. Speaker 11: On Monument Street, corner Monument and Crescent, and Speaker 11: you saved my life. Speaker 11: And I just want you to know that I am truly sorry Speaker 11: for all the shit that I ever did. Speaker 11: And that's not how I was raised, and that's not the kind of person Speaker 11: I am not sincerely regret all of it. Speaker 11: And I just wanna thank you because you saved my life and I appreciate Speaker 11: it. Speaker 11: And, Speaker 11: not too long after that, I got a response from him. Speaker 11: And we're friends today. Speaker 11: I mean, we've met. Speaker 11: Bocked. Speaker 11: We, you know, I've gotta I've talked to him maybe six months ago. Speaker 11: He was number on my phone and we're friends today. Speaker 11: And Speaker 0: so I'm kidding, was that Was that difficult?

34:48 Speaker 0: I mean, Speaker 11: for me? Speaker 11: Yeah. Speaker 11: Not at all, man. Speaker 11: No. Speaker 11: No. Speaker 11: Because, I'm that for me is like it's it's healing Speaker 11: for me to express, you know, to tell people how I feel like my Speaker 11: remorse and and regret. Speaker 0: Gotcha. Speaker 11: But when when the different side, I called the attorney that, Speaker 11: like, said that life changing thing to me. Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 0: He's he spoke truth into you. Speaker 0: It was is what he's doing. Speaker 11: Right? Speaker 11: I haven't talked to him since nineteen ninety. Speaker 11: Listen. Speaker 11: I mean, this is like really funny, but I called him. Speaker 11: I he's still practicing law. Speaker 11: He's gotta be a hundred years old. Speaker 11: Right? Speaker 11: And I And I I found him in the phone book and I called Speaker 11: his office and he got on the phone. Speaker 11: You know, the lady's like, well, is he expecting a call from you? Speaker 11: And I was like, well, yeah, probably not.

35:29 Speaker 11: What which case is this involving? Speaker 11: I was like, well, you know, it's a case from, like, you know, nineteen Speaker 11: eighty nine. Speaker 8: Okay. Speaker 11: And, she put him on the phone I just relayed the story to him. Speaker 11: And I just told him how, you know, the comments that he made had Speaker 11: changed my life. Speaker 11: And this is where I'm at today. Speaker 11: Like, you know, I have a great life. Speaker 11: I'm a respected member of contributing member of society. Speaker 11: I have an amazing son. Speaker 11: Like, you know, it's like, I've got good friends, like, good people that that Speaker 11: I hang out with. Speaker 11: And and I just wanted him to know that that that might Speaker 11: not have happened if he hadn't said what he had. Speaker 11: Like, I that was like just a huge impact. Speaker 11: Made a huge impact for me. Speaker 11: And I didn't know it at the time, but he told me that I Speaker 11: was actually on speaker, like, after I told him this, like his whole audience.

36:15 Speaker 8: We could go into a whole whole bunch of them around Ironman, and, Speaker 8: we were joking before the podcast. Speaker 8: And let me just phrase that I think everybody's adversity is different. Speaker 8: Right? Speaker 8: For sure. Speaker 8: To to to some of your guests on the show, I haven't had any Speaker 8: adversity, and I'll be the first person to say that. Speaker 8: I mean, the fact that I was born in America meant that I had Speaker 8: to odd stacked in my favor. Speaker 8: So I just wanna phrase that, but I because of that, I got really Speaker 8: interested in Iron Man's because I wanted to find a way Speaker 8: to proactively Speaker 3: find my limits and test myself and to Speaker 8: push myself out Speaker 8: there And I like to tell people when I tell a Ironman, they're like, Speaker 8: oh my gosh. Speaker 8: I could never do that. Speaker 8: How long have you been doing that? Speaker 8: What's your time?

36:55 Speaker 8: All that kind of stuff? Speaker 8: And I'm like, look, the the longer I do this and the faster I Speaker 8: get, it doesn't get easier. Speaker 8: You just get faster. Speaker 8: And, I mean, I've been on several rides of a hundred miles where I Speaker 8: feel like I am in tip top shape, shape, and the best shape of Speaker 8: my life. Speaker 8: And then you get towards the end of that ride, and you're like, man, Speaker 8: this stinks, and I've got nothing left in the gas. Speaker 8: I would encourage everyone out there to find little parts of their Speaker 8: life that they can disrupt to make themselves mentally sharp and agile Speaker 8: for those situations. Speaker 8: And if you don't know one, I'll give you one right now. Speaker 8: Try brushing your teeth with your left hand or your non dominant hand. Speaker 8: Try switching the mouse over your non dominant hand. Speaker 8: Try standing on one foot and and brushing your teeth. Speaker 8: Like, those little actions seem small and and in the grand scheme of the Speaker 8: adversity of the guests that you have on your show are small But there Speaker 8: are situations and things that you can do that will better set yourself up Speaker 8: to be resilient in those times of adversity when you have them.

37:48 Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 0: That's really good. Speaker 0: Yeah, I mean, the the truth is, like, with with the show, this is, Speaker 0: I think, my fifth episode, and what I'm finding is Speaker 0: whether intentionally or not I'm looking around kind of measuring people's adversity Speaker 0: and then measuring their abundance, you know, how much hardship has met foregone Speaker 0: through, does he meet the threshold of being on my podcast? Speaker 0: And is he in a living in an abundant life enough to to be Speaker 0: on my podcast? Speaker 0: You know? Speaker 0: And it but it's the end of the day, it's like, like you said, Speaker 0: we we all we all go through adversity. Speaker 0: And that's the that's kind of the point of the show is everyone is Speaker 0: is guaranteed to go through hardship, and everyone's story Speaker 0: is going to be different.

38:29 Speaker 0: So, yes, we will compare its human nature and you know, Speaker 0: it's we all have relative thinking. Speaker 0: We think in a relative way, but there's but just because you, Speaker 0: you know, haven't been shot five times like Fuquan Balal. Speaker 0: That doesn't mean you haven't been through hardship. Speaker 0: Yep. Speaker 0: So, yeah. Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 0: I mean, that's I I love the I don't love that you had to Speaker 0: go through hardship, but I love how you've reacted to it and handled it. Speaker 0: And you you do have a growth mindset. Speaker 0: Every time we interact, it's always like positive and, you know, Speaker 0: inspiring interaction for me. Speaker 0: So I appreciate that Speaker 0: I'm just gonna fire off a few quick questions for you, and we'll see Speaker 0: what see where it goes, and then we'll wrap it up.

39:13 Speaker 2: Sounds good. Speaker 0: If you could have coffee now this is like your ice cream question, I Speaker 0: think. Speaker 0: If you could have coffee with any historical figure, who would you choose? Speaker 8: I'm gonna give you three. Speaker 8: Martin Luther King Junior Nelson Mandela Speaker 8: and, Speaker 8: Dick winners from Band Brothers. Speaker 8: Oh, nice. Speaker 8: Okay. Speaker 8: Awesome. Speaker 0: I always wanted to make the joke when I listen to your show and Speaker 0: you say dead or alive, I wanna say, I'll choose a live. Speaker 0: I don't think, a dead person would Speaker 3: be a Speaker 8: great day to help you with. Speaker 8: You know who did mention? Speaker 8: Let me throw a fourth in there and send Speaker 3: you my Speaker 8: last name for.

39:55 Speaker 8: I get I get this opportunity to do that. Speaker 8: Not historical, still alive. Speaker 8: Dave Chapel. Speaker 0: Oh, nice. Speaker 0: I think Dave Chapapel Speaker 8: is wicked wicked smart. Speaker 3: Yeah. Speaker 3: The Speaker 8: way he tells stories, the way he, sets up a joke. Speaker 8: Like, I'm just a student of comedy. Speaker 8: I love how people Yeah. Speaker 8: Communicate their art form, and I think he's the best in the business by Speaker 8: far. Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 0: My my wife and I enjoy his, Netflix, you know, whenever he has a Speaker 0: show on there. Speaker 8: And a man who had everything and out of principle said, I'm not gonna Speaker 8: do this anymore, and then came back on his own terms to still be Speaker 8: at the top. Speaker 8: Like, that's Incredible. Speaker 0: That's awesome. Speaker 0: Alright. Speaker 0: If you were given ten million dollars tomorrow, what would you do with it?

40:36 Speaker 8: Make sure my parents are taken care of. Speaker 8: I think they are at this age in their life, but, you never know Speaker 8: what could happen. Speaker 8: And then I'm boring. Speaker 8: I would probably invest it and then continue to work and do the things Speaker 8: that Speaker 0: I do. Speaker 8: I would make sure that I invested it so where my, basic needs were Speaker 8: taken care of, but I would still work. Speaker 3: Yeah, man. Speaker 3: So I've had a lot of adversity in my in my life, and it's Speaker 3: led me to abundance. Speaker 3: So I can I can I'll be happy to talk about this? Speaker 3: So you know, some of the adversity that I faced, Speaker 3: was really more so younger in my life than it has been Speaker 3: recently. Speaker 3: Okay. Speaker 3: But it has molded me and it has shaped me into the person that Speaker 3: I am today.

41:17 Speaker 3: So, you know, I lost my I lost both of my parents before I Speaker 3: was eighteen. Speaker 3: I lost my mother when I was nine, and I lost my father when Speaker 3: I was eighteen. Speaker 3: So my dad did a great job of raising me, you know, up until Speaker 3: I was eighteen, which I was still a child at eighteen. Speaker 3: You know, they say you're legally an adult at eighteen, but I was I Speaker 3: was a kid still. Speaker 3: And, you know, so Yes. Speaker 3: Growing up without a mother, you know, was was was difficult. Speaker 3: It wasn't, you know, impossible by any means, but it it definitely brought some Speaker 3: challenges. Speaker 3: But then losing my dad at the age of eighteen was really tough because Speaker 3: I didn't have any parental guidance. Speaker 3: I have an older sister You know, who's always kinda had my back and Speaker 3: kept an eye on me, but she's not my mom, she's not my dad.

42:00 Speaker 3: She's my sister. Speaker 2: Sure. Speaker 3: And I've had other family, you know, aunts and uncles and grandparents that have Speaker 3: obvious been there to help me and to help guide me. Speaker 3: But at the same time, they're not your parents either. Speaker 3: Right? Speaker 0: Right. Speaker 3: So at the age of eighteen, I was out on my own. Speaker 3: And luckily, my grandparents, you know, were were, Speaker 3: really good savers. Speaker 3: I'm not a good saver. Speaker 3: They were. Speaker 3: And they were like, hey, we we would love to have you go to Speaker 3: college. Speaker 3: You know, we're gonna pay for it. Speaker 3: And I was like, holy cow, this is amazing. Speaker 3: Like, amazing people, angels on my shoulder. Speaker 3: So they They helped me, you know, go to college for four years and Speaker 3: help cover some of those some of those costs. Speaker 3: I paid for a little bit of it, but they paid for the majority Speaker 3: of it.

42:41 Speaker 3: But because I didn't have any parental guidance, man, I got in a lot Speaker 3: of trouble in college. Speaker 3: I just was hanging out with the wrong crowd and you know, was doing Speaker 3: a lot of activities that we wouldn't refer to as being good activities, and, Speaker 3: you know, a lot of these activities were were were very illegal activities. Speaker 3: And, you know, I got myself into a lot of trouble. Speaker 3: And, Speaker 3: you know, at one point, I was, you know, standing in front of Speaker 3: a judge facing seven years in prison. Speaker 0: Oh, wow. Speaker 3: Or certain, you know, activities that I was doing and the judge took mercy Speaker 3: on me and was like, you know, you don't have any parental guidance. Speaker 3: I think I was, like, twenty four at the time. Speaker 3: Mhmm. Speaker 3: You know, and and, you know, and I was crying up on the up Speaker 3: on, you know, in court and, and, you know, I didn't wanna go to Speaker 3: prison.

43:27 Speaker 3: You know? Speaker 3: So the judge took mercy on me, though, and they in said, you know, Speaker 3: we're not gonna send you to jail because this is your first, you know, Speaker 3: basically big offense here. Speaker 3: But, you know, this is real. Speaker 3: This is real life. Speaker 3: And if you keep you know, screwing up and and, you know, messing up, Speaker 3: you're gonna go to jail, dude. Speaker 3: And they ended she ended up giving me a house arrest for nine months, Speaker 3: man. Speaker 3: I was on house arrest for nine months because of my activities. Speaker 0: This was in in college still, you said? Speaker 3: In college is when it started, but it rolled over into, you know, into Speaker 3: my early twenties too. Speaker 3: Right? Speaker 0: Got it. Speaker 0: Yep. Speaker 3: And, but, you know, what the thing was, though, Jamie, that that was Speaker 3: one of the best things that ever happened Speaker 2: to me, Speaker 3: to be honest.

44:08 Speaker 3: I mean, it's kinda crazy to think about that or to even say that Speaker 3: out loud, but Speaker 0: No. Speaker 0: And and just to quickly jump in, that is one of the things that, Speaker 0: you know, we've I've it's been one of the themes with the shows we've Speaker 0: had thus far is that, and, of course, this takes time to and reflection. Speaker 0: Right? Speaker 0: You don't see this in the moment. Speaker 0: Typically, I would just I would assume. Speaker 0: Right? Speaker 0: But looking back, it's a lot of people have said similar things with, Speaker 0: very painful, you know, traumatic experiences they've been through is Speaker 0: that it is the best thing that ever happened to that. Speaker 0: It's one Speaker 3: of the best things that's ever happened to me. Speaker 3: Absolutely. Speaker 0: So so why do you why do you say that in your in your Speaker 0: case? Speaker 3: Well, because if I hadn't gotten caught doing what what I was doing, Speaker 3: I would've I would've still I would've kept doing it.

44:49 Speaker 3: Yeah. Speaker 3: You know? Speaker 3: So, Speaker 3: but yeah, long story short, it was one of the best things that ever Speaker 3: happened to me. Speaker 3: I straightened my life out. Speaker 3: I quit messing around with the crowd that I was messing around with. Speaker 3: I quit messing around with the substances that Speaker 3: landed me in that courtroom. Speaker 3: And, you know, I realized at that point in time that Speaker 3: You know, I had been I had been kind of veering down the wrong Speaker 3: path since the age of about eighteen. Speaker 3: So that was, you know, about seven years that I was, like, kind of Speaker 3: up to no good. Speaker 3: You know, and, Speaker 0: what were you at this point? Speaker 10: Just you know, I was I was about to turn twenty four, and Speaker 10: my my wife at the time Speaker 10: I really, really respected her grandpa.

45:33 Speaker 10: And I respected her mom too. Speaker 10: Her mom was actually my real estate broker. Speaker 10: And her grandpa said or her grandpa let me back up a little bit. Speaker 10: Her grandpa actually introduced me to Jim Ron, not personally, but Speaker 10: through cassette tapes. Speaker 10: And I think I talked about Speaker 0: this podcast. Speaker 10: Well, I converted all those things from cassette to CD and would listen to Speaker 10: these things driving down the road, and that was That's where I was introduced Speaker 10: to personal development and started realizing life's not Speaker 10: happening to me. Speaker 10: It's happening for me. Speaker 10: And another thing my, wife's grandpa said to me was join the military. Speaker 10: Go back to school. Speaker 10: You can do this over. Speaker 10: Like, it's not you can you can kinda do a reset.

46:14 Speaker 10: So once again, action taker, I'm at the recruiter station at Speaker 10: the Air Force. Speaker 10: They wouldn't take me. Speaker 10: Air Force would not take me. Speaker 10: I jumped through all their hoops, a lot of their hoops, but unfortunately not Speaker 10: high enough. Speaker 10: And luckily, the Air Force recruiter said, hey, go next door to the military Speaker 10: or to the army. Speaker 10: They'll pretty much take anybody. Speaker 10: So I'm coachable. Speaker 10: I win next door and join the army, and I'm in basic training, like, Speaker 10: two months later. Speaker 0: Got it. Speaker 0: Okay. Speaker 0: So, I mean, with everything you just breeze Speaker 0: through, I mean, that's that's a lot of That's a big like you said, Speaker 0: it was humbling, but touch on kinda your mindset at that point in time Speaker 0: that when you were struggling, as far as yeah.

46:54 Speaker 0: Go ahead. Speaker 10: You know, just praying for opportunity every night and, like, to reward, like, Speaker 10: I'll I'll I'll be a better tither, like, all these things, but Speaker 10: Here I am sleeping in till, like, ten AM in the morning, but I Speaker 10: was also working late. Speaker 10: Right? Speaker 10: That was my excuse. Speaker 10: Oh, I'm working late, but I still could have gotten up early you know, Speaker 10: some of the things that were ingrained in me in the military, like, now Speaker 10: it's, like, I pretty much just wake up automatically at four AM and other Speaker 10: I lay there in bed feeling guilty or most of the days Speaker 10: of the week, I just get up and and get some stuff done or Speaker 10: you know, do a bible study or read a book or or whatever, start, Speaker 10: you know, taking action. Speaker 10: But yeah, I mean, you know, I look back at the the person I Speaker 10: was back then Speaker 3: Mhmm.

47:38 Speaker 10: And that's who needed to change. Speaker 10: It wasn't the economy. Speaker 10: It wasn't the dang real estate market. Speaker 10: Everyone wants to blame two thousand eight. Speaker 10: Way, way, way, way. Speaker 10: Like, I bet you people I know people that absolutely Speaker 10: freaking crushed it in two thousand. Speaker 10: Right. Speaker 10: And, one of those guys, I'll I'll just do a shout out right now. Speaker 10: His name is Michael Jake. Speaker 10: His biggest problem is all of his friends have regular jobs. Speaker 10: And he doesn't have to Speaker 5: work. Speaker 5: You know? Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 0: So he the he can't relate to them on some level. Speaker 0: But yeah. Speaker 0: Gotcha. Speaker 0: So okay. Speaker 0: So join the military and then what? Speaker 10: So join the military and the hustler came back out that Speaker 0: he did.

48:21 Speaker 10: Nice. Speaker 10: I I joined as e one, and I'm tell let me tell you. Speaker 10: My it still was not covering my bills. Speaker 10: My e one salary. Speaker 10: So I just had this hustle and based training. Speaker 10: I was pulling fire guard for guys at night. Speaker 10: I was, like, making the bunk beds in the morning. Speaker 10: In the You're an entrepreneur already. Speaker 8: I mean, you were Speaker 0: already an entrepreneur before that, but you were using your hustler hustler skills, Speaker 0: hustling skills in basic training. Speaker 10: Whenever graduation came, we got that one day to kinda go and celebrate with Speaker 10: family. Speaker 10: It had like a pocket full of cash. Speaker 10: And I was like, okay, I'm gonna spend some of this now. Speaker 0: Did you, Did you get well, you probably didn't have they probably switched Speaker 0: over the boots by then because we had people doing a boot shining Speaker 0: for people.

49:03 Speaker 7: No. Speaker 7: Yeah. Speaker 10: There was no shining boots in my thank god, man. Speaker 10: Yeah. Speaker 0: It was just five months to get your boots shined or something like that. Speaker 0: But there were guys that were, like, all night long just shining boots you Speaker 0: know, making making a lot of money. Speaker 10: Wow. Speaker 10: Yeah. Speaker 10: I'll tell you. Speaker 10: And then AIT came and then we would have dressed blue inspection. Speaker 10: Actually, it was it was our our AC or greens back then. Speaker 10: And I would iron us for these guys on Fridays, Speaker 10: because they would have to do an inspection to get their weekend passed. Speaker 10: And I wasn't knowing on a weekend passes. Speaker 10: I didn't, like, my wife lived, you know, in the next state over. Speaker 10: Like, we weren't seeing each other very often. Speaker 10: So I would rack up money doing that. Speaker 10: And then It's time to move again.

49:44 Speaker 10: And, you know, just, off the Germany and Speaker 10: basically I was stationed there for three years and then was on back to Speaker 10: back deployment schedule and, you know, made money in on deployments. Speaker 10: I would literally buy cartons of cigarette that I I never really told Speaker 10: I've never told this story on Speaker 0: a podcast. Speaker 0: Here we go, people. Speaker 12: Yeah. Speaker 12: I'm, I'm definitely a big rock kind of person, and that goes to the Speaker 12: analogy when you're trying to put a bunch of rocks, big rocks, small rocks Speaker 12: and sand into a jar. Speaker 12: If you focus on the sand first, then the big rocks won't fit. Speaker 12: But if you put in the big rocks first, the sand will pour in. Speaker 12: It'll fill in all of empty spaces. Speaker 12: And so, I mean, I've heard that analogy plenty of times and Speaker 12: it never really struck me as, you know, mind blowing when I heard it.

50:26 Speaker 12: But as time goes on, I recognize that that's just the way that I Speaker 12: deal with life, and that's the way that I solve problems. Speaker 12: I like to find one solution that will that will Speaker 12: spread out or trickle down and solve a lot of other other problems. Speaker 12: And so I would say that there's a book that I read when I Speaker 12: started homeschooling, especially when we really switched strategies to something called unschooling Speaker 12: where we're not doing a lot of formal education. Speaker 12: And because like you said, six kids homeschooling, it would be too much Speaker 12: work. Speaker 12: It would be unsustainable. Speaker 12: And so I'm trying to find a sustainable way to educate my children without Speaker 12: making myself crazy. Speaker 12: And so So finding the big rock that's gonna solve all these problems. Speaker 12: There's this book in the unschooling community called nonviolent communication, and it was Speaker 12: written by somebody who worked in the international community doing a Speaker 12: lot of, negotiations, political negotiations like Speaker 12: Jewish and Palestinian, you know, over these really borders kinds of situations.

51:21 Speaker 12: And his main premise in that book that that really hit me hard was Speaker 12: you cannot control other people. Speaker 12: And he didn't really say it that overtly. Speaker 3: Mhmm. Speaker 3: But Speaker 12: it's like the only thing that you can help to do is communicate and Speaker 12: you can't even make sure that they hear you. Speaker 12: You can't even make sure that they understand you because that's what we say. Speaker 12: We all just wanna be heard, but we can't even control whether or Speaker 8: not or heard, Speaker 12: all we can do is communicate. Speaker 12: And then that's it. Speaker 12: And the rest, you need to let go. Speaker 12: And so when I started recognizing that I could categorize my life by Speaker 12: things that I I can control and things that I can't control. Speaker 12: That eliminated pretty much everything. Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 0: That's really good.

52:02 Speaker 12: So you take the situation. Speaker 12: Let's take, my son that you mentioned. Speaker 12: He has autism. Speaker 12: We deal with a lot of autism. Speaker 12: In my family and, you know, people who have autism who don't believe Speaker 12: autism is a thing. Speaker 12: Right? Speaker 12: It's it's, it's been it's been fun to learn to deal with emotions and Speaker 12: socializing and and deal with adversity and all those kind of things when when Speaker 12: you don't quite think about things the same way that other people do. Speaker 12: And so it's like you recognize that you can't control that situation, Speaker 12: and there's nothing you can do about it. Speaker 12: And so you stop worrying about it because we used to think with my Speaker 12: son when he was growing up. Speaker 12: Like, what did we do? Speaker 12: How did we cause this? Speaker 12: Like, my husband.

52:43 Speaker 12: Would would obsess over the way that he would come in and see that Speaker 12: he was loading the dishwasher the wrong way. Speaker 12: And he'd say, oh, wait, let's go this way and the bowls go that Speaker 12: way. Speaker 12: And then my son became very, very controlling and obsessive that certain things were Speaker 12: the right way and you had to follow the rules, and this is not Speaker 12: the way that it's done. Speaker 12: And then my husband really thought that it was because he had these very Speaker 12: particular ways of having him do things as a kid. Speaker 12: And and then Speaker 0: Your husband was blaming himself. Speaker 0: Right? Speaker 12: Blaming himself, but then we step and realize, like, we cannot control the fact Speaker 12: that our son has autism. Speaker 12: We did not cause this. Speaker 12: We did not create this. Speaker 12: And once you let that go, then you guys are focusing on, okay, how Speaker 12: do we How do we cope? Speaker 12: Obviously, he still has autism. Speaker 12: But when you stop the blame game and you stop the what if game, Speaker 12: so when you stop the what if I could control this game, Speaker 12: you only focus in on what you can control.

53:28 Speaker 0: Yeah. Speaker 12: And what we notice is most of it goes away. Speaker 12: The other parts of it, you really can get focused in on what you Speaker 12: can't control. Speaker 12: And then there are a few things that you cannot control that you're still Speaker 12: really upset about. Speaker 12: It's really bothersome. Speaker 12: It's really stressful. Speaker 3: Mhmm. Speaker 12: And that's the stuff that we found that we need to do some more Speaker 12: inner work on. Speaker 12: How to not let that stuff bother you. Speaker 12: And you have two options there. Speaker 12: You can either expand your your circle of control or you Speaker 12: can just learn how to stop letting it bother you. Speaker 1: Thank you for spending your most valuable resource with us. Speaker 1: Your time. Speaker 1: If you like the show, please share it with your friends and fellow podcast Speaker 1: listeners.

54:09 Speaker 1: One entrepreneur at a time, we can change the world. Speaker 1: See you next time.